WOMAN

This poem isn't mine, but I love it~ so I posted it here! 


A strong woman works out every day
to keep her body in shape,
but a woman of strength kneels in prayer
to keep her soul in shape.
A strong woman isn't afraid of anything,
but a woman of strength shows
courage in the midst of her fear.

A strong woman won't let anyone
get the best of her,
but a woman of strength
gives the best of herself to everyone.
A strong woman makes mistakes
and avoids the same in the future.
A woman of strength realizes
life's mistakes can also be God's
blessings and capitalizes on them.

A strong woman walks sure footedly,
but a woman of strength knows
God will catch her when she falls.

A strong woman wears the look
of confidence on her face,
but a woman of strength wears grace.

A strong woman has faith that
she is strong enough for the journey,
but a woman of strength has faith that it is
in the journey that she will become strong.

Letting Go!

I am not good enough. I am not perfect and my journey has always been an everyday thing--- A daily responsibility. 

I thought all the while that being emotionally attach is the only way for someone to sin and be tempted to do stupid things but it's not always like that. I just learned this weekend that even if we're not emotional and we're not deeply connected to anyone, we can sin and we can be tempted if we allow ourselves to be in a situation of sin. 

I am serious with my christian journey and the more I get serious, the more the trials, the harder the temptation to endure. The only way to survive is to really completely submit myself to the Holy Spirits guidance. I learned that I have to be more sensitive with it and that I should be more grounded with the word of God to keep my eyes focus on what is right in the eyes of the Lord.

Being in this journey has never been easy, and the more I trust God with my decisions, the more I am being tested by the faith I have with Him. If I really trust Him enough. I don't want to impress God anymore--- by doing that, I am pushing myself to self righteousness and not being able to enjoy God's wonderful purpose. From now on, I'll just let the Holy Spirit guide me and I now fully submit myself to the works of God. 

Last night, it was the first time for me to be cathartic and really pour out my heart to Jesus. I want more of Him each day. I am tired of my flesh. I am tired of fighting against it because I am sure I can't--- The only for me to endure testing is to surrender my everything to Him.

I am too scared to fall in love because I am very emotional. And when I fall, I fall really hard that I end up hurting God and disappoint Him of my irrationality and stupidity. But I am also too scared to fall that I play safe with emotions and play with someone's emotions. 

I just found out that I can both do the same thing---- And it's hard to fall in love when you are too scared for it. Because it's either, I hurt myself or I hurt others. And hurt God. 

I now know what I should surrender to Him. It's my fear of Love and fear of commitment. I can't Love others effectively if I am too scared of it. I can't trust others if I don't trust myself---- I have to leave my past behind and just try to live life anew. I am not perfect and I can never bring back the broken pieces of my heart. But God can always make it new, and I am looking forward for the day that it's not through my own strength that I will feel loved but through God's love and perfect surrender. 

Heal my heart Lord and make it new.