Let go and You'll Understand

When your in a situation wherein you don't know what's going on or yet you know what's going on but you just close your eyes to reality because you don't want to pain yourself from accepting the that people are made for a purpose, to leave or to stay, to make you smile or to make you cry, or to make you worthy or to make you unworthy----

Sometimes things happen because we overly respond not to the person but to the situation itself, we think too much, plan too much, expect too much and love too much to the point of consuming everything that we have and realized, "woah, can you just stop for a moment, give me just a small piece of that too much I have given you.."----- but even though we wanted to say it, it's just so hard to swallow the words and say it because we value that person in that situation too much to the point of just accepting yourself being less for that someone to realized he/she is more.

Coming to a point of deep thinking after a not so good situation enables every piece of my body to just feel how nice it was to be considered as part of the circumstance in someone's life but if we allow ourself to be eaten up by emotions and just do whatever for the sake of feeling important even though you are not supposed to feel it is just so inappropriate. It's a lesson learned that we don't have to be too emotional in handling it. That we should think twice if not thrice if we are doing the right things or we are just doing things because we wanted things to be right even if it's "obviously wrong".

I just wanna blame myself sometimes for allowing things to happen, but I can't just say that because after all what has done has done and what has happened has happened. There's this saying, It takes two to tango and I truly believed in that statement------and for it to tango, i need the consideration of the other person or perhaps his confirmation to do the actual circumstance in our life. And even if it's a story of unforgettable memories, sometimes letting go of the person is the best way to do to let go of the situation. It will take time and effort but it should be the best or if not at least near the best solution to just stop the burst of emotion rather than hurt yourself in the end of the line.

That person has really been a big part in your life and has changed you as a person and considering that you are letting go of the situation as well as the person, you are slowly understanding that the big part has to be small for you to be BIG... loving yourself a lil bit more and pushing yourself to do what is right even if it pains you is the perfect way of saying,

"Lord, I just want to stop doing this, I love you more than anything else and even it would cause me to lose one person just to have that love for myself, I'll obey"----

The fear of not being able to be loved back because of my past garbage just made me do things that aren't suppose to happen. All this time, I thought I've grown so much with the Lord but I realized I haven't and I need more effort to press in with everything even to the point of just experiencing pain to achieve undescribable happiness. It's like God talking to me in a very still voice, Hannah....just...

Let go and you'll understand.

Internet Attraction

In a world of uncertainty it's hard to be certain.

I always consider myself as part of the 21st century babies who's so much inclined to the real world through internet attractions.

I am just someone who can live without internet but just so attach with it and what it brings in my life. I can easily communicate my family back home, I can talk to my JASEAN friends. I can share my thoughts to just anyone, I can shop through it, I can make a video and play music videos. These are some of the few things why I am attracted to internet but there's more to it than just that.

I don't want to be overly dramatic and I don't want to exaggerate my storm of emotions but internet changed me and my life. When you say internet, I've tried everything. Good or bad, you say it, I've done it but maybe not as bad as others but I've tried at least one of the most stupid thing a person can do in the internet.

Can I just control myself from the fact of life that anything could happen and that Life is unknown. We don't know how and who we meet, we don't know why we meet them but trust me, they could create an impact in your life.

Temporary Insanity

You'll know when it's temporary.

Some things are just made to happen for a reason, we may not know what it is but it's just between you realizing that things aren't suppose to be like that, or it's fine next story please.

To be in a certain level of maturity takes time but to be in a certain level of insanity, consumes time or yet it kills time itself. I don't want the feeling but it's just keeps on bugging you up~ I like the temporariness but how long will it be temporary?

There are things that you want to do but you shouldn't be doing.

There are things that you didn't want to do but you are doing.

There are things that you didn't expect to do but it happened.

There are things that should not be happening, but you just couldn't stop yourself from the "comfort" it brings or maybe, it's just a way of showing undesirably the innate pleasure of human being.

Bad as it could be, or good as it may come but still it's an option. You choose, you decide.

The temporariness of my insanity don't usually last long, but it could change someone's perception towards me, it could even kill a persons sanity but things happen because you need to experience it. Not because you want it, but because you don't know the intensity of you're insanity and how can you control such process of going out of your real self for awhile.

It's just a matter of regret or positive response.

I love my temporary insanity, because it made me realize the value of sanity. :)