Tug of Reality

When God created me, He created me for a purpose and knowing that, I won't let your words destroy my whole perspective of life and love.


Just because you said I don't know what I want it doesn't mean it's true.
You can't define me base on your own judgments nor you can mold my future base on your own presumption.

I am a day older than yesterday and I am year older than last year. I can tell that I am in the age where people get married, settle down or have their own career and profession and I am expected to conform to that standards of the world whether I like it or not. However, as day goes by, life is teaching me lessons that change my whole idea of conformity.

We are all created different and we have our own sets of standards. I have my own life to live and my own dreams to accomplish. Nevertheless, those sets of rules I put in myself in achieving my dreams can't deprive me from enjoying every single day God has bestowed in me.  Just because I am in the age where I am expected to have a  job, a degree, a husband probably, or a kid, I will have all of those at this very moment---- And just because I am expected to act according to my age, I can't act the way I was 5 years ago. Oh yes, I can always bend my standards for the sake of adventure and real joy. I can't just let other people's banters change me to the extent of losing myself in the process. 

In my age, I am like a rope played during a tug of war game--- the other side of the world trying to pull me to what they believed I should have been doing and the other side is my conscience and reality trying to fix my eyes to stay strong to what I've been wanting to do in this journey. Sometimes, the world wins in my thoughts but most of the time, my conscience wins--- 

I want everything in this life, but reality has always been there to block me from wanting that everything----because----I know that can't all have it-- but I can always focus to what I could have and press myself forward in achieving having it. I won't let other people's pressures and capacity to intertwined my thoughts manipulate my direction. When I do things, I do it because I love to do it, and it gives me so much happiness to do it. However, bending has always been part of me---- if and only if, it's worth the bend and it's right in the eyes of God. 

I may have different views as yours but that doesn't give you the authority to judge me as insensitive. I totally respect your opinion so I am also entitled of respect as well. I am not mad or upset, I am just expressing my heartfelt opinion rather than imprisoned myself with the idea that to respect others is to be quiet---- I can't be quiet. I always talk when I have the opportunity to talk and when I do, I see to it, it make sense. 

A tug of reality. It's either you let it build you, or defeat you. 

Friendship is Favored

After a long day from school, a cold autumn weather gave me a coldness that brings warmth to my heart and soul. I know it's a little complicated but that's how I feel--- And as I walk towards the parking lot, I felt the warmth of relief. A fifteen minutes drive home. But I felt I have to face the wall after a long argument and emotional battle. A week of emotional venting. 

I finally talked to the wall.A Wall that I've been trying to break for the past years. A wall that blocks me from trusting others. A wall full of doubts and insecurities---  And yes, it was the most thrilling yet amazing experience. I did not break it, it was broken subtly but surely. It was broken by a circumstance which made me appreciate the gift of patience. That we don't have to force something to happen in our lives---sometimes, we just have to wait for it to happen... piece by piece, little by little, God will help us in breaking the wall that weakens our capacity to enjoy the journey with Him and with other people. 

As soon as I face the wall, it gave me so much reason to rejoice for life. I forgot that I ain't living alone, that I have to communicate and just give life a chance and give myself a chance.. 

I made friends with myself now. I am favored with compassion and loaded with understanding. 

And as I end the night with a prayer, palm held together while staring at the horizon---- it's good to be friends with yourself again. A friendship I lost years ago.. and now...

A Friendship is favored.