TROPHY AND GOLD

You're like a trophy that I have to win.
You're like a mine of gold that I should keep.

The sudden thrill of emotions combined with understanding and romantic aura made my blood flowing from my blood stream, send a signal to my brain telling my heart, "hey, you deserve a smile.." (was that even a phrase?).. hahaha! Upon hearing those, it made me really smile big.

I haven't heard such a phrase coming from a friend who has a special space in my heart. He has a space because he gave me all the reasons in this world to live life happily. That I deserve the best, that I am worth the sacrifice, that I am amazing in an extraordinary way. That I am beautiful even if I know I am not the hottest model in town.  That I am sexy even if I am not as sexy as Angelina Jolie or the Victoria Secret ladies---- the thing is, I am appreciated. 

I mean, it's not about the physical appreciation, it's about the sincerity of words---it's about being honest beyond comprehension. I know I may not be sure about it, but it's different when a friend tells you this. It's like an ice cream full of toppings--- the bits of pieces of it gives me such a bliss that even the smallest piece, I will eat. 

I just want to thank God for  sending me an instrument to open my eyes to what is really in store for me in my future. I can honestly say to myself--- I am ready for your purpose and destiny. I offer my life to you God whatever, whenever, whoever. And no matter how long it will take for me to wait, at least in my journey---- I met someone who thinks of me as a trophy and a gold...

I thought God is the only one who thinks of me as a precious stone. Far more precious than rubies. Now that I heard all these, I felt content that I don't need to hear any of it anymore. I just want to live life for God and for righteousness.

I am a trophy.
I am a gold.

I am precious.

And God, you made me feel all these.. through someone. :)

I give you the glory and honor. 

Patience is Virtue

Finally!

I got it~ 

I just have to be patient and wait. I don't have to hurry nor rush things up--- 

I just have to appreciate every single opportunity, circumstance, trials, struggles, tears, smiles and life's complexities. I just have to be myself.

I don't have to pretend I can be the best nor try to be worthy when it doesn't need any trying at all. I don't have to present myself as someone that deserved the best when I can settle for the least but overflowing with love from within and contentment. 

It took me awhile to recognized my weaknesses, it took me awhile to process within myself that it's not through earning others affection that I may be able to find real happiness... but it's through being grateful with the life I have.

I am in awe with God's instruments and ways in making me learn life's lessons. It can come from someone unexpectedly awesome. Someone you wouldn't even think can create a huge impact in your journey to life. I haven't encounter such compassion and care from someone without asking anything in return.  I haven't had anyone said such words that made me smile the entire day..... 

I got it. Why would I spend time dating when I can just wait. I don't have to date to be seen. I don't have to be known to be appreciated. I just have to live life 24 hours a day, 7 days a week---- loving God, loving life, loving everyone and completing my purpose and destiny.

Yeah, they may say how can I marry if I don't date? how can I meet Mr. Right if I don't try to open my heart to such a worldly thing? My answer is, why do I have to? When Mr. Right is just around the corner... maybe I know him, or maybe not... but the thing is, I know for sure I don't have to spend my time impressing others--- and let others impress me or making a front to me just to earn my appreciation.

To someone who gave me such a new perspective and you know who you are... thank you! I can live life without fear of rejection now---you are such an instrument to remind me of His love and how precious I am. 

and to my Mr. Right-- I will remain pure till you come. And when that day will finally happen, I can look at you straight to your eyes and say, I may have stumbled while I waited--- but those circumstances made me who I am now and made my meeting with you dramatically worth it. 

I'm waiting. Let my count down begin. 

You Deserve It

You Deserve it.

I am a man with you because you deserve it. Hearing it from a young friend who is 7 years younger than me and whom everyone thought as an immature being was a blast to my ear. Who would have thought that he will be an instrument for me in my journey to life and love.

God moves in mysterious ways. I totally submit to that~ And having such a realization from a friend, is unexpectedly amazing! And it made it even more mysterious and surprising because God opened my heart to reality right after a failure out of rebellion--- God has always been so merciful and compassionate to me. He's always on time. And He works things together for good. A mistake sucked me downhill but an instrument pulled me up to get back up and move forward. We are given struggles either to resent and be angry, or be stronger and ready on the next battle. 

Indeed, not all guys are the same--- and we cannot define maturity by age---- 

He is just 19 years old but he acts and think like a 30 years old. Unlike Mr. M, he is 29 but he acts like a 19 years old~~ Well, if honesty hurts--- then let my honesty be a wake up call to other guys out there who thinks that they are matured enough in this lifetime. Yes, you may have everything--- Career and money---- but you will only be complete if you learn to respect a woman and treat her like a precious stone in a cave full of treasures. 

I am writing this as a challenge to all the woman out there, to not allow their emotions in making decisions. To think first of their purpose with Christ rather than their purpose in this world. To think of the consequence rather than the temporary pleasure. To think of Gods loving guidance and obey, rather than follow the desires of the flesh.

And to all the guys out there--- be a man! Relationship isn't about sex--- and you can't be a man through it----  Sex isn't a reason to connect rather it's a gift to be experienced after marriage with the one who deserve your love and intimacy. We cannot be complete through others love too if we aren't complete of our love to Christ. 

I agree, the journey to righteousness is a struggle. It's a warfare against the spirit and the flesh. It's a daily encounter, a daily battle. If you will allow yourself to sin, it's a choice--- but we also have a choice to get back up and continue--- or drag ourselves to the other side.. which is DEATH.

Not all of us who calls Lord Lord shall enter the Kingdom of God. Enough reminder for us--- to really pursue our journey with all our spiritual might and strength.

To all Young Christians out there, this walk is not easy as you think--- It needs 100% commitment--- it needs pursuance.. 

We should need it like we need to eat food every day-- 
We should need it as we need water, air and energy to live everyday-- 

Nourish yourself everyday. Meditate. Repent. Move Forward. 

Life with Jesus is worth it. If we really want to follow Him, we are to carry His cross and follow Him. It will take a lot of pruning and the pruning really hurts--- It will either destroy you if you let it, or change you if you let it--- Just be patient and trust God's heart on this---The reward is great! Expect Great things with God----

I am a Christian, but I am also human.

I may have failed God--- but I am pressing on for completeness.

God is not finish with me yet. I shall be stronger the next time.