They said, there will come a point when our heart just stop from calling someone's name. Too tired to wait and too tired to pretend that everything is fine. I am not hurting but it seems like the more I would delve into this emotions, I would slowly kill my system and my intellectual capacity to emotionally attach myself to something really important. I might hurt myself in the process and guard my heart again so bad that it will take me another years of mending and recuperating.
I want to stop. I am starting to fall for you... but, you're killing me softly. I can't express myself, I can't just tell you how I feel, I can't just tell you I want you, I can't just tell you it's you that I've been thinking about life, future and good stuff--- that I want you to wrap your hands around me and just be with me.....because I am scared---- too scared to fall for you.. too scared to invest my emotions with you... too scared to be hurt.
So, now--- I am freeing myself from this bondage of emotions. Lord Jesus, you've been so near, I've been so far---- please help me get near you now. I am tired... please just take me with you.
I love you Jesus and I am excited to see you. Please take this baggage out of me. You know my heart, you know his heart... just teach both of our hearts to follow what is right for us.
He is near yet so far, but Jesus---- You are near, never far! And thank you so much for that! For being so patient with me. For being there for me despite my stubbornness. I offer my life to you. Take it, this is the only thing I have to pay you. Nothing more, nothing less. :)
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