Weakness is Greatness

Scrolling it up and down. Checking on the news feeds in facebook while laying on my bed. I just couldn't sleep yet. While on my thoughts, I suddenly realized, while the other is enjoying--- I am putting myself together and connect the puzzle over and over again. Wait, I should stop. 

Have you ever felt being in a situation where you don't know who you really are from someone. I've been to a lot and it's not nice to always figure things out by yourself. It's not nice to always think of what's even not there and what's even not happening. You can't focus on what to do, because you always end up thinking of that someone without even knowing if that someone is thinking of you. Oh snap! 

I wish I am strong enough to just walk away and forget all the feelings inside of me. I wish I have the courage to just leave. But I ain't strong enough for it. 

But sometimes, being strong is not the only way to leave---- being weak sometimes is the only reason to just walk away and follow what's right. Oh well, we don't really know what's is the right choice but we can choose to make it right even if you're not sure of it. 

I may not be right in my decision now but I will make it right just because I need it. I want myself back and through my weakness, I can gain all the strength to just face my fears and just offer everything up to the Lord.

This time, I am one level stronger than the last time with my faith. And there's no turning back. 

I may be walking away now, but that's because I love God more than I love myself-- I love to obey Him rather than follow my own decision. I'd rather hurt myself than hurt Him and I'd rather struggle in the inside than fail Him over and over again.

I have to choose obedience.